And I wasn’t there. If I’d been there, he would have been okay with whatever was happening. If I’d been there it would have been safe for him to go. I talked to him on the phone, intending to say something calming so he could hear my voice, and instead just cried and told him I was sorry that I wasn’t there.
I spoke to the vet one last time, and told her to let him go,
I cried. Amanda came and held me, and I cried some more. Holly called and I told her what had happened, and she cried too. It was so sudden and unexpected and I wasn’t there with him when he went. And I’d lost my friend.
I thought I was all cried out, and then I heard that Lola had taken his collar from the counter top and slept with it all night, and I cried again.
—The Power of Dog. Cabal (2003-2013) Neil Gaiman